Bipolar

Another 1 Bites the Dust

My therapist is quitting. Last week she phrased it as if I were “graduating” from therapy. Then she asked right away how I felt about it. I said I’d think about it and tell her the next time although I knew right away. How did I feel? Abandoned, thank you.

Now, we aren’t a perfect fit. She knows nothing about child development and hasn’t moved to correct that deficiency in the four years I’ve seen her. Being a parent is an important part of who I am. So, I found my answers on the internet like everyone else because she was of little help.

My sense of humor has defended and sustained me through difficult times. My “gallows humor” is a coping mechanism that has served me well. She discouraged me from using it to defend myself emotionally, yet she also had trouble with the result, more tears.

I tend to cry through almost every decision I make. It seems that made her nervous. I’d weep for five minutes and she wouldn’t say a word to comfort me. I mentioned that would be helpful and that I feel uncomfortable with her silence. No change.

I can’t help but think that she’s doing me a favor by setting me free.

I am not graduating from therapy now or in the future. I accept that as a person with bipolar, counseling is one of the fundamental supports to maintain my mental health, along with medication, exercise and friendship.

Time to begin a search for a new therapist. Today.

Have a healthy day and believe in yourself. –Rebecca

Clematis bud Photo: Rebecca Cuningham